Hi, welcome back!
Trust – like it, hate it, confused by it, not sure about it?
Here’s a thought for you…
Without our active participation, trust tends to be passive, conceptual and generalised.
‘I trust you’ | ‘I don’t trust you’ | ‘You can trust me’
There is an invitation, that we may not have been aware of, to begin to have an active relationship with it.
The experience when we do can be life-changing!
The erosion of trust is often because we’ve not brought sufficient conscious attention and intentional action to it.
We may have been assuming trust or distrust. This could be because of:
- our past and present understanding of and relationship with trust
- our experience of trust in our life, from childhood, into adulthood, personally and professionally
- unconscious expectations or the fixed frame we put around things
- past ‘time travelling’ – projecting what we’ve experienced there and then and with them to here and now and with you
- future fear – projecting what we fear could happen then and there with them to now and here and you
We may also have been collecting evidence or proof of something that, through new lenses, e.g. neurodiversity/difference, unhealthy relationship dynamics, exhaustion, mental/emotional health, trauma, nervous system, we can re-view it and re-evaluate.
When trust is assumed or expected, we tend to take less intentional action in relation to it or we expect others to.
Where trust has been eroded. Where harm has been caused.
Healing may be needed. Compassion and forgiveness may become possible.
From here, trust can be considered, decisions made and something new acted on and/or communicated.
Bringing attention to our understanding and experience of Trust is super helpful and it’s often not on the radar of a lot of other support for those looking for new ways to resolve the challenges in their neurodiverse relationship. I discovered what I needed to know about Trust elsewhere and the impact, when I did, on my experience in my relationship was a phenomenal.
Creating and living a healthy balance of self- and other-trust has played a significant part in me:
- knowing, being and expressing more of who I am
- enjoying more and healthier connection in relationships with others
In my online programme, one of the 20 ‘landmarks’ you visit is dedicated to Trust with lots of resources and a clear model and system so that you can get clearer about what trust really is and change the dynamics of assumed trust and distrust in your relationship. Here’s what one participant wanted others to know about that:
‘I’m glad you hold space in the programme for this whole conversation of trust. It is a biggie for me without even realizing it, and even in delving into self-care and help strategies I don’t ever remember trust coming into the conversation. So thank you for bringing it to light for me!’ – Beth
If you know issues of trust or distrust are contributing to your experience in your neurodiverse relationship, join Loving Difference and I’ll see you there!
With love,
