Welcome back!
Did you know that demand avoidance is not limited to neurodivergence. We can all experience demand avoidance. However, for some, it is a particular way that their neurodivergence and anxiety manifest.
A new information leaflet from PDA Society. Essential information about PDA (Persistent Demand Avoidance) and what helps, in an easily shareable format. It’s free to download, email or print and share with others: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/…/what-is-pda…/ I know some of you experience this with yourself, in your spousal relationships and in your parenting. I’m here to support you so feel free to get in touch.
A new description/language for this is emerging which I prefer too. It moves away from a pathological/deficit approach and instead reflects the actual lived experience of PDAers versus those who observe, research and diagnose them. Persistent Desire for Autonomy. What’s often seen and perceived to be controlling behaviour is often more likely rooted in distress, unmet needs, anxiety and discomfort. Creating space, getting compassionate and curious about what’s beneath the behaviour can go a long way to improving the experience of it for everyone.
Different but related, I also recognise that I experienced my own version of a PDA type stress reaction… Persistent Demand Acceptance. Whilst ‘no’ is relatively unacceptable as a response in our culture, ‘yes-ing’ is widely accepted!… and I was an expert and addicted ‘yes-er’ – very agreeable. This was also rooted in my own version of distress, unmet needs, anxiety and discomfort.
The biggest takeaway from all this?… create capacity inside yourself and look beneath the surface, discover the fear, need and/or insecurity. That’s where healing and connection begin.
Finding your way forward
Perhaps something you’ve read here has helped you see your experience a little differently, put words to something you’ve been feeling, or glimpse a new possibility for yourself.
Whatever has brought you here, you deserve space to understand your experience, recover your energy and find your way forward at your own pace.
That’s what Be You Coaching is all about.
Reignite Roadmap is your first step into Be You — a gentle, guided introduction to the journey of moving from relationship exhaustion towards brave clarity, with space to reconnect with yourself and discover what might be possible.
CLICK to explore Reignite Roadmap
With love and sparkle
