Welcome back!
Did you know that demand avoidance is not limited to neurodivergence. We can all experience demand avoidance. However, for some, it is a particular way that their neurodivergence and anxiety manifest.
A new information leaflet from PDA Society. Essential information about PDA (Persistent Demand Avoidance) and what helps, in an easily shareable format. It’s free to download, email or print and share with others: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/…/what-is-pda…/ I know some of you experience this with yourself, in your spousal relationships and in your parenting. I’m here to support you so feel free to get in touch.
A new description/language for this is emerging which I prefer too. It moves away from a pathological/deficit approach and instead reflects the actual lived experience of PDAers versus those who observe, research and diagnose them. Persistent Desire for Autonomy. What’s often seen and perceived to be controlling behaviour is often more likely rooted in distress, unmet needs, anxiety and discomfort. Creating space, getting compassionate and curious about what’s beneath the behaviour can go a long way to improving the experience of it for everyone.
Different but related, I also recognise that I experienced my own version of a PDA type stress reaction… Persistent Demand Acceptance. Whilst ‘no’ is relatively unacceptable as a response in our culture, ‘yes-ing’ is widely accepted!… and I was an expert and addicted ‘yes-er’ – very agreeable. This was also rooted in my own version of distress, unmet needs, anxiety and discomfort.
The biggest takeaway from all this?… create capacity inside yourself and look beneath the surface, discover the fear, need and/or insecurity. That’s where healing and connection begin.
If you’re experiencing PDA in your relationship and you’d like support with that, book a call to discuss how I can assist you to make the changes you desire or access support from me and other travel companions join Loving Difference, with transformational and surprisingly fun coaching adventures that support your step by steps to reverse the impact of unknown neurodiversity, be YOU again and flourish – in your relationships and your life.
With love and sparkle…
