‘There’s no revolution before revelation’
I loved this quote when I saw it recently… 😍
We need new awareness, new perspectives, new thinking and new realisations before the work of lasting change and freedom can begin.
If you recognise yourself in Cassandra Syndrome (OTRS) and/or the Unhealthy Habits Holding You Back In Your Neurodiverse Relationship, you’ve begun the path of revelation…
Here are a few invitations to continue your own personal revolution…
- Turn your toes towards your passions and interests. Get creative and find ways to connect with what we love more – it will give us energy, restore our wellbeing and help us to shine!
- Learn to say no. People pleasing is mentally and physically exhausting. Stop being the only one trying to fix everyone and everything because you will end up losing yourself trying to save everyone else.
- Surround yourself with people who add to your peace, not your problems. Restoring your social wellbeing from scratch is one heck of a mountain to climb. Reconnecting with friends, finding confidence to try new things or going to events on your own is daunting. Telling your partner you’re going to do more of this stuff fills you with dread. I know that dread well, but to recover yourself you’re going to have to face it. Over time, I created a supportive social network where I can have fun, laugh, chat and be spontaneous. I can hear all the reasons in your head why that’s not possible because I said them all to myself as well in the beginning. You can start small… but you have to start. Now is the best time to begin so that you can reignite the sparkling personality that’s retreated within.
- Find your voice. Sing your song again. We allow ourselves to be silenced. We don’t have the words, nor often the energy, to speak up anymore. Our partner’s logic confuses and makes us question our thinking, our emotional responses, our own sanity even. Over time, emotional shutdown feels inescapable. Letting tears flow may be a first vulnerable and essential step. Learning new methods, new language, new rules of engagement are necessary. But more important is you beginning to express yourself again – with your physical voice and your emotional voice. No more being quiet, being unemotional, holding your tongue. Find your voice again and it will reveal your deepest longings for the happier life that’s waiting for you.
- Don’t let anyone dull your sparkle. I’ve learned to restore my sparkle and then hold on tight to it in the harshest of desert times. You can too. By the same token, I don’t want my partner to be anything other than the best version of himself too so expecting him to alter for me is a no-no as well!
The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone and forgetting that you are special too
Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you’re not happy. Friends and relatives may have a lot to say about what you should or shouldn’t be doing which can leave you feeling even more criticised, misunderstood and unsupported. Now you know what you know about you and about the impact of unknown neurodiversity in a relationship, it can still be difficult to reach out for help.
Book a call to discuss how I can assist you to make the changes you desire or access support from me and other travel companions join Loving Difference, with transformational and surprisingly fun coaching adventures that support your step by steps to reverse the impact of unknown neurodiversity, be YOU again and flourish – in your relationships and your life
