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How many times have you tried to change a habit and not got the result you wanted?

Or perhaps you’re resigned to the situation you’re in because you can’t see any way to change it?

Emily’s a client and she’s asked me to share with YOU what happened today so you might find a little hope…

Emily got in touch with me this morning. An old pattern was stirring – a thought pattern that’s cost her so much in life including her health, her relationship and, perhaps worst of all, the freedom to enjoy life. She worked really hard this summer on new thoughts that are now nearly as automatic as the old ones, but old habits and patterns lurk… they seem to know when to come knocking – e.g. when we’re stressed or our energy levels are low and we don’t have the same capacity to respond from the new pattern that we’ve worked hard to cultivate.

Nature has been one of my greatest teachers and when I was out this morning, my own walking habits illustrated what Emily had been describing. She found it really helpful and suggested I tell more people who want to change their experience too…

It’s a route I walk often. For at least a couple of years, the footpath ahead (to the right of the photo) has been overgrown and I’ve had to take a detour to the left. Recently I noticed the footpath has been cleared and I’ve walked it several times now as it’s a much better path than the detour.

This morning though, my mind was elsewhere and, on automatic pilot, I turned left – just like that old habit that comes knocking.

The old pattern is familiar, but opening the door comes at great cost. At the doorway, we’re reminded that familiar doesn’t always bring the experience we want. The going is often tougher that way, just like the furrowed field I’ve had to walk whilst the footpath was overgrown. We already know that the new path is better but it takes some effort still to keep choosing it.

In this moment there is choice – continue through the furrows (open the door) or make a new decision. I turn around, retrace my steps and redirect myself. Ahead of me the footpath is clear and open.

Rather than open the door when the old habit or pattern comes knocking, this is a time to be kind – to use self-talk that is patient and understanding – a time to be Your own best friend. From this conscious place you can politely (or not so politely!) keep the door firmly closed and act afresh from the new pattern you’ve been establishing.

A few seconds is often all it takes and in those few seconds YOU can choose the experience YOU want.

Old habits lurk and come knocking.

YOU can choose not to open the door.

What automatic and repeating patterns are holding you back in your relationship and your life? What’s that cost you in the past? …and now?

Or perhaps you want to discover the repeating patterns that are giving you the experience that’s not getting any better?

For a complimentary chat to get clearer on this and make decisions for the present and future you want, book into my diary here or contact me anytime on 07977 585072.

It’s exactly what Emily did and now her relationship is doing better and she feels free to enjoy life more than she ever has before. Help is one decision and one call away.

Natalie Roberts

Author Natalie Roberts

Natalie Roberts is an award-winning Master Coach and Mentor supporting individuals and couples in neurodiverse relationships in the UK and around the world. She coaches individuals and couples to reverse the impact of unknown neurodiversity and thrive so that they can be true to themselves and feel empowered to make decisions about their present and future that are positive and hopeful.

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