Hi, I’m wondering…
Are you stuck? Going round and round in a relationship cycle that feels never ending? Is it dark and you don’t know what on earth to do about it?
If you answered yes to any of these, how is that affecting you? What impact is it having on others who are important to you? Take a moment to read those questions again more slowly and answer them honestly.
The number one reason that keeps us where we are is that the reason for staying there is stronger than the reason for doing something about it. Your strongest reason is the difference between staying stuck where you are or flourishing beyond there into YOU!
If we want things to change, we’ll need to have a reason for changing things that’s bigger than the reason they’re staying the same.
What’s your strongest reason for resolving the issues you have in your relationship?
Walking in the woods today I noticed these foxgloves. Just a few months ago they were seeds underground in the dark. They have a clear strongest reason to move away from there: ‘We have to germinate and grow so that our flowers will be pollinated and new seeds will be made.’ In the darkness, they put down roots and tender shoots, fed by nature’s nutrients. They break through the darkness into the light and keep growing until they bloom and their purpose can be fulfilled with the visits from the bumble bees.
You can be more foxglove!
First, find your strongest reason
What’s your strongest reason for moving away from stuck, from the hamster wheel you’re on, from the darkness?
It will be your equivalent of the foxglove’s motivation to leave the darkness of the soil and grow into the light until it blooms and flourishes so beautifully.
You can’t solve a problem with the same thinking that created it. New thinking is necessary and powerful because it disrupts and interrupts cycles and stuckness. New thinking shines a light into dark places. I know it can feel scary too so we need a strongest reason to step away from what we know that’s familiar.
I realised I was stuck too, in the darkness of a repeating and unhealthy neurodiverse relationship cycle. My strongest reason for finding a new way was my children. I wanted to model a healthy relationship for them and not the unhealthy one they’d seen for years already and time was running out. My strongest reason motivated me to seek help and do the work to change my mindset and habits that created all the right conditions for a happier me and a healthier relationship with their Dad.
Have a go at crafting your strongest reason and if you’d like to share or discuss yours with me I’d love to hear from you. You can book straight into my diary, contact me by email or text me at 07977 585072 anytime. Alternatively, access support from me and other travel companions right now via Coaching in Community, with transformational and surprisingly fun coaching adventures that support your step by steps to reverse the impact of unknown neurodiversity, be YOU again and flourish – in your relationships and your life.
Write down that strongest reason, reach out for help and be more foxglove! I’m here when you’re ready.
With love and sparkle…