Skip to main content

Sharing some reflections from some recent reading today!

Neurodiverse relationships will never look conventional if there even is such a thing as a conventional relationship these days! Comparing our relationships to others that don’t have the specific challenges we face can leave us feeling different, inadequate and unhappy.

Embracing difference takes time and courage. Time to understand the new landscape and see it from a new perspective. Courage to take action to create conditions that everyone can flourish in, especially when that looks different from other relationships you know.

I often notice parallels and reading a recent article on biodiversity and butterfly populations resonated with my neurodiverse relationship. The article was explaining how our colonisation of certain landscapes has threatened the survival of native butterflies. Efforts to restore the right environmental conditions is seeing butterfly populations begin to flourish again.

It got me thinking about the parallels between biodiversity and neurodiversity. With butterflies, if the habitat deteriorates, the species decline and can even die out. It reminded me of how I’d felt like I died in my relationship because the conditions didn’t support my wellbeing.

You may have allowed your partner to colonise your world over the course of your relationship. By the same token, your beliefs and behaviours may have colonised your partner’s world too. The conditions aren’t right for flourishing – they are more like poisons and pollution, suffocating and draining the life out of you. To be fair, neither knew what you were doing, nor the effect on the health of the other.

You thought you were the same kind of butterfly!

With the new knowledge of our landscape and its detrimental effects on either or both of us, we need to look at ourselves to understand what beliefs and behaviours led to that happening. We can then make new decisions and act on those to create somewhere we can thrive. Hopefully our partners can too, it depends on their willingness to also observe and understand the land they are living in and the species they share it with – we can’t make them do that. You can begin with you though…

How can you halt deterioration and begin to restore a healthy habitat you can flourish in?

When I work with people using my ‘Embrace & Thrive’ approach, they discover the conditions they need to flourish and take action to make them happen. If you’d like to know more about how the ‘Embrace & Thrive’ approach can help you, book your complimentary call with me today here.

Alternatively, you might prefer Coaching in Community, with transformational and surprisingly fun coaching adventures that support your step by steps to reverse the impact of unknown neurodiversity, be YOU again and flourish – in your relationships and your life.

If you’re not sure what kind of butterfly you are or you’re not sure you’re in the right habitat for your flourishing, get in touch!

With love and sparkle…

Neurodiverse Relationship Coach Natalie's signature with an x below

Natalie Roberts

Author Natalie Roberts

Natalie Roberts is an award-winning Master Coach and Mentor supporting individuals and couples in neurodiverse relationships in the UK and around the world. She coaches individuals and couples to reverse the impact of unknown neurodiversity and thrive so that they can be true to themselves and feel empowered to make decisions about their present and future that are positive and hopeful.

More posts by Natalie Roberts